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Willie Laundrie

Online T-Shirt Retailer Releases “The Walking Red”

walking-red

One-day-and-it’s-gone online t-shirt retailer TeeFury has a gruesome new Star Trek-inspired shirt available for a short time this weekend, The Walking Red.

Playing off the popular “Walking Dead” comics and television show, as well as Star Trek‘s favorite expendable crewmen, this limited-edition shirt is currently on sale at TeeFury.

Move fast, though: the shirt disappears at midnight on Sunday (or whenever it sells out), and then it’s gone forever.

TeeFury specializes in “one new super limited-edition tee every 24 hours for $10,” featuring artwork by a variety of artists in a number of styles and genres. A quick look through their gallery shows work drawn from science fiction, video games, comics, geek culture, and more.

Looks like the Red Shirts get the last laugh this weekend!

The Walking Red

Buy The Walking Red today at TeeFury.

Starship Enterprise-F Makes Star Trek Online Debut

Enterprise-F

As new photos from J.J. Abrams’ upcoming Star Trek film have us excited about Trek’s future at the movies and online conversation has us question Trek’s future on TV, Star Trek Online is boldly going where all other media have never gone before: they’ve designed and commissioned a new starship Enterprise and officially brought her into service (some spoilers for Star Trek Online follow).

While the design of the latest starship to bear the name was revealed some time ago, the ship did not make its official debut until this month (as part of the Featured Episode Series “The 2800″). The new Odyssey-class starship was based on a contest submission from fan Adam Ilhe and then finalized by the STO team.

The Enterprise-F can now be seen in-game as part of the aforementioned Feature Episode Series and vessels of its class can be purchased by players in the game’s online store.

A few key members of her crew have been revealed, including her captain. Va’Kel Shon is an Andorian officer assisted by the player in earlier episodes whose ship, the Belfast, is lost in service. Shon (and much of his crew) are rewarded for their valor with the Enterprise-F, which Shon brings to bear at a crucial point in the finale of “The 2800.” Players are told that Shon has combat experience against the Borg, the Dominion, and other threats to the Alpha Quadrant.

Shon is the first non-human captain of an Enterprise, making his commission an historic one. According to Memory Beta, this is not the first mention of the Enterprise-F in non-canonical Star Trek lore; it will be interesting to see how Star Trek Online’s version of the ship (and other historical events of note) will be addressed in future Trek media. For now, players of Star Trek Online have one more key piece of Star Trek included in-game.

Starship Enterprise-F

For more information on the Enterprise-F, visit Star Trek Online.

Federation Follies: Friendly Fire

federation-follies

Ok. I admit it — It’s been awhile since the last installment of Federation Follies, where I discussed some of my favorite Star Trek episodes to watch around Halloween.

I had a list of excuses as long as my arm ready for the editor here at TrekNews.net. Chief among them: my wife and I had a baby! But I’ve also been working! And Evil Picard turned my desktop computer into a makeshift still! There were LOCUSTS! All true (mostly), but not the real reason I’m been M.I.A.

No, the truth is far more shameful.

I’ve become addicted to Star Trek: Online.

Ever since the game went free-to-play, I’ve been flying around in my wicked starships, chasing Romulans, cheating on Academy exams, and doing my duty rosters. DUTY ROSTERS, PEOPLE. Seriously, forget what you think you know about Star Trek: Duty Rosters are EXTREME TO THE MAX.

After flying solo for a month, I suddenly remembered that this was a multiplayer game. “Sure,” I mused, “I have an elite cadre of computer-controlled officers to assist me, but aren’t there also real people playing this thing?” I opened my eyes to the larger universe around me… and realized that apparently the Federation had completely tossed all those “morals” and “ethics” out the nearest airlock while I was sending all those junior officers out on diplomatic missions. If you decide to try a little free-to-play STO (and you should), you can see all the following and more for yourself at startrekonline.com/f2p.

Captains Can Buy & Sell Officers At Most Starbases. I think I made enough off my extra Armory Officers to run the replicators for a month and a half. Extra Earl Grey Tea and phasers for everybody!

Tribbles Will Eat All Your Stuff. … and there goes the tea. Guess it’s just the phasers, then.

Tribbles Will Improve Your Battle Prowess. Carry tribbles, GET TUFF. Makes no sense, but it’s still funny to beam down an away team and have your Vulcan first officer start petting his tribble in the middle of a firefight.

“Petting His Tribble” is Not A Euphemism, It’s Just What Happens. Get your mind out of the gutter!

A Starbase Full of Ships Is Available to All… For the Right Price. Just a Lieutenant (Junior Grade)? No matter; open that wallet, pal, and you can own ALL the ships. The economics of the future ain’t that different after all.

90% of the People Who Type in the Chat Window Think You’re a Moron. “Peace and understanding of that which is different” went out the door with that hippie Picard, n00b. Set phasers to NERD RAGE.

The Other 10% Do Not Speak English. Malfunctioning Universal Translator, perhaps? How did they finish the tutorial without reading any of it?

Seriously, if the battle at Wolf 359 had gone down like group assaults I’ve joined, the Borg would have assimilated half the Earth while everyone in space was still bickering. Imagine Riker on the Enterprise, hollering over the comm at everyone to STOP USING KINETIC WEAPONS YOU %#^#&^ING $%@#$s; half the fleet flying in circles not doing anything; a handful of Captains trying to calmly explain what to do while some random lieutenant named Corporal Giggles tells them he totally saw a video on subspace showing exactly what to do and you guys totally just have the wrong tribbles equipped; and two alien officers with their universal translators turned off just ramming the Borg cube, transporting out to different ships, and then ramming said cube again.

Before you ask in the comments: Yes. This game is FUN. Wait. Why am I still typing? I’ve got Duty Rosters to get back to!

Until next time!

“Federation Follies,” a humor column by Willie Laundrie II, looks at the lighter side of Star Trek.

TrekNews.net’s 2011 Star Trek Holiday Gift Guide

2011 Star Trek Holiday Gift Guide

Makin’ a list & checkin’ it twice.

So here we are, another Thanksgiving over and the Christmas decorations already gathering their third month of dust down at the local department store, and you haven’t done any gift shopping, have you? (Before you head down to the comments, no, that popcorn tin you impulse-purchased at the grocery store for some coworker you ever barely talk to does not count).

Darn good thing, then, that TrekNews.net is here to help you with at least one person on your list: The die-hard Star Trek fan.

… or multiple people on your list, if your social circle is extremely cool.

Let’s start at the top, with the most obvious sites, and work our way down, shall we?

Star Trek Official Store

Star Trek Robe

So you want to get your friend/family member/coworker/dungeon master their own Starfleet uniform, but sizing is a pain and there are so many eras to choose from! What if you pick a Dominion War -era DS9 uniform when they’re looking for some Wrath of Khan cranberry duds? Plus, sizing can be a pain in the rear (literally). So make it easy for yourself and pick up a Star Trek Robe from the Official Store: comfortable, functional, and machine washable! Plus: “100% cotton velour.” Oh yeah.

Roddenberry Shop

Starfleet Skant

Alright, you know the robe will be a hit, but let’s be honest: there actually IS one type of Starfleet uniform that everyone can get excited about… that everyone can wear, regardless of species, gender, or temporal orientation. And that uniform is ” THE SKANT. So pop on over to the Roddenberry Shop and purchase a pattern so your crafty Trekker pal can create their own skant(s)… which can be conveniently covered by the aforementioned robe.

ThinkGeek

Enterprise Pizza Cutter

Now that your gift givee is decked out in style, it’s time to get practical. The holidays are over and ain’t NOBODY gonna want to cook again until at least February. Normally, that would mean a lot of take-out, but maybe your friend doesn’t want to leave the house for some (not skant related) reason. That means pizza… and that means they’ll need the Enterprise Pizza Cutter.

To make that pizza meal even classier, you can add the Star Trek Bar Set from…

Entertainment Earth

Star Trek Bar Set

The bar set isn’t enough, though, if you want your be-skanted friend to really scream “class,” you need to stop by the Fragrances page on Entertainment Earth and pick up some Shirtless Kirk cologne.

Star Trek Fragrances

Imagine this person, sporting the skant and bathrobe; slicing a pizza with the saucer section of a Constitution-class starship before using a Bird-of-Prey to uncork their Two Buck Chuck; all with the aroma of “Cowboy Diplomacy” wafting past that Klingon Mr. Potato Head in the corner.

“Qapla’” indeed, baby.

CafePress

Star Trek Mug

Alright, that got a little heavy. This person might be a family member, I’m sorry. Let’s take things down a notch, relax with some tea… possibly in this “Tea, Earl Grey, Hot” mug. Complete with LCARS graphics and replicator imagery, it might not be screen accurate… but I doubt even Livingston would care. Just the thing to wrap up this list (and your shopping).

… oh, and those sites also sell other Star Trek stuff too. In case you don’t think the pattern for a skant would be right for EVERYONE on your list. For me, though… let’s just say I hope my family isn’t reading this week. Might ruin the surprise.

What Star Trek gifts are on your list this year? Tell us in the comments.

Could Today’s Television Climate Support a New Star Trek Series? [Editorial]

Star Trek

Back in September, I wrote a Federation Follies column about what a Star Trek series on TV today might look like, and my pitch was fairly ludicrous (at least, I hope it was).

TrekNews has visited the topic in a more serious light on a few occasions, and I think the question has been on every Trek fan’s mind at some point since Enterprise was cancelled: Why isn’t there any new Star Trek on television? The Trek franchise got one heckuva shot in the arm in 2009; one would think the viewing public’s interest would be primed.

So where’s our weekly fix?

Two recent articles by Graeme McMillan on Spinoff Online got me thinking about it again and are interesting reading for Trek fans. Both articles raise some great points, and are great starting-points for debate (I, for one, think McMillan missed the fact that Deep Space Nine often DID have a long-running storyline and a focus on the character’s private lives). Ultimately, though, I was left wondering: do we really want Star Trek back on television? Would the franchise benefit from that? I’m certainly not qualified to answer that definitively, but I do have a few thoughts on it:

Challenging Television Can Be A Difficult Sell

One of Star Trek‘s great strengths is presenting challenging social issues in the context of sci-fi adventure, and giving audiences intellectual conundrums to puzzle over. Recently my wife and I watched an episode in which a strong desire for security and the preservation of the United Federation of Planets lead to rampant paranoia, military trials, unwarranted surveillance, and fear-mongering (“The Drumhead”). This was followed by an episode dealing with a society that showed their respect for life and the dignity of the aging by mandating the death of their citizens at age 60, and citizens of “our” society (The Federation) trying to understand and ultimately accept the accompanying ritual (“Half a Life”). How well these episodes dealt with these issues is up for discussion, but the fact that these hard questions were posed to the viewer at all is still unusual compared to most of what I see on TV.

Archer & T'Pol
Archer & T’Pol from the final episode of Enterprise, “These Are the Voyages”

More Is Not Always Better

I love Star Trek and I’m always excited for more, but with so many series, books, comics, movies, and games to enjoy already, is more necessary? As anyone who has watched a sitcom go on long past its prime can tell you, pushing a premise too far for too long can dilute and weaken it to the point of irrelevance. A new movie every two or three years is one thing; but a new hour of programming each week for the better part of a year, for multiple years? That could be great or terrible… or worse: mediocre. Perhaps this type of thinking comes from years of reading superhero comics, where the stories seldom (if ever) end and the characters just keep getting recycled and reused. There’s a lot to be said for a story having a definite beginning, middle, and end. A television series can have that as well (see: Deep Space Nine) but the chances for that seem slim in the current entertainment climate. Also, the strength of the story (and its resultant staying-power) depend quite a bit on the next point:

Star Trek creator, Gene Roddenberry
Star Trek creator, Gene Roddenberry

Who Will Be The Gene Roddenberry of This New Trek Generation?

Granted, I wasn’t watching TV in the sixties; heck, my parents were in elementary school when Star Trek first premiered. My understanding, though, is that most of these issues were just as problematic then… but Gene Roddenberry believed in his vision and fought hard to share it with the world. Roddenberry believed that Star Trek was important not just as entertainment, but as social commentary and education. He fought hard to “add a little color to the bridge” and make the show stand for something. In my humble opinion, you see that drive and social responsibility lacking in some of Enterprise and in the recent big-screen Star Trek. Now, I enjoyed Enterprise a great deal and I loved that big, loud, camera-flared movie; but it would be hard to argue that they were deep and socially relevant in the way TOS and TNG were. A Trekkie in the Hollywood community might finally push to get a series green-lit, but I’d be surprised to see one with the social conscience as well. No studio exec looking to “revitalize an old franchise” will treat it properly. If we want to see new Star Trek on television, and we want it to BE Star Trek, we need a crusader of sorts.

For the record, I would love to see Star Trek back on television, but part of me wonders if we’re better off just enjoying the amazing mythology we already have. Plus, with at least one new movie on the horizon, multiple comic book series, novels, and games to keep us busy, there IS still new Trek to be had. I suppose only the future has the answers… but as Star Trek fans, we all knew that already.

These are just my thoughts; I look forward to reading yours in the comments.

 
Willie Laundrie II writes “Federation Follies,” a weekly humor column which takes a look at the lighter side of Star Trek.

Federation Follies: Trek-Or-Treat!

star-trek-pumpkin

The weather is getting chillier, autumn is coming to a close, and the darkness seems to chase the daylight away a little bit sooner each night. Truly, the most chilling season of the year is upon us and the signs are everywhere: Sounds in the night suddenly seem more foreboding. Plastic tombstones and artificial dead people on the neighbor’s lawn. Discount candy & thrashed “Sexy” Spongebob costumes litter the floor of your local department store (probably by the recently displayed Christmas merchandise).

I think there’s probably a new Saw movie out or something. Whatever. It’s Halloween! And what better way to spend this weekend waiting for the big day (and candy-filled night) than to scare yourself silly with Star Trek? Follow me now, dear viewer, as we gaze upon the darker side of Trek:

“Wolf in the Fold” (Star Trek: The Original Series, Season 2)
Murder! Mayhem! Belly dancers! Is the chief engineer of the Enterprise going insane, blacking out and murdering the locals while on shore leave? Or is something far more sinister at work? You only get one guess, and if you’re wrong, I slap you.

“Night Terrors” (Star Trek: The Next Generation, Season 4)
This episode is what first got me thinking about a list like this. Although nothing supernatural occurs during the episode, there is some fairly disturbing imagery (especially a scene with Dr. Crusher “alone” in a cargo bay).

“Empok Nor” (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 5)
A different kind of terror, this episode has more in common with “Predator” than “Poltergeist.” As Chief O’Brien, Nog, Garak, and a handful of expendable newcomers search an abandoned (and poorly lit) Cardassian station for spare parts, they find themselves stalked by unseen forces… and possibly betrayed by one of their own. Also, the way the station is hanging crooked IN SPACE, where there is NO UP OR DOWN, is pretty darn creepy.

“The Thaw” (Star Trek: Voyager, Season 2)
If The Joker has taught me anything, it’s that clowns can be pretty terrifying… and a clown created as the physical manifestation of five people’s fears would be downright horrific. If watching Kim and Torres try to escape his carnival of horrors gets too frightening, just tell yourself that the clown is really Lenny from Laverne & Shirley. See if it helps.

“Eye of the Beholder” (Star Trek: The Next Generation, Season 7)
This one makes the list because “Geordi and Data remove a skeleton” is literally part of the plot synopsis on Memory Alpha. There’s suicide, murder, psychic vibrations that travel across time to torment the ship’s counselor… plus, Geordi and Data remove a skeleton. SPOOKY. For more murderous fun, see “The Meld” (ST: Voyager, Season 2).

“The Xindi” (Star Trek: Enterprise, Season 3)
Seriously, this whole season was basically Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones. More than anything on this list, THAT is truly chilling.

There are plenty more great ones (The salt vampire of M-113 in “The Man Trap” and Picard vs. Ardra in “Devil’s Due” strike me as appropriate). Feel free to leave any I missed in the comments, and have a Happy (and safe!) Halloween!
“Federation Follies” is a weekly humor column by Willie Laundrie II, taking a look at the lighter side of Star Trek.

Federation Follies: Star Trek Babies [Humor]

Naomi Wildman

Last week my wife and I welcomed our first baby into the world, and I’ve realized something: these tiny, brand-new people are kind of a big deal. As family and friends swarm around us to meet the lil’ monkey, I also realize: I have no idea what I’m doing with this kid. Naturally, I was inspired to write another in my series of articles that desperately attempts to validate those old “All I Need To Know About Life I Learned From Star Trek” posters: I would turn to Star Trek, which has quite a few examples of childbirth, childrearing, and other child-things.

“Rock-a-bye baby, in the spacedock,”
“When the core blows, the shuttle will rock,”
“When the hull breaks, the shuttle will fall,”
“And down will come baby, shuttle and all.”

Ian Andrew Troi
Counselor Deanna Troi is impregnated by a glowing alien presence which then (over the course of a few days) comes to term, is born, lives as a human child, and then reverts to energy or something. Or, as Jean-Luc Picard might say: “A lifeform of unknown origin and intent is breeding right now inside Counselor Troi.”

Lesson Learned: Kids don’t really grow up that fast, I guess. Comparatively speaking. They can prove threatening to the ship, though.

Kirayoshi O’Brien
Hmmm… transplanted from his mother’s womb into that of an alien, resulting in an accelerated pregnancy? The worst aspect of which was sneezing? That being said, I’m not crazy about rubbing the feet of a Bajoran freedom-fighter, though. Yikes.

Lesson Learned: Help my wife discover her “Inner Bajoran” before her next pregnancy.

Naomi Wildman
Born twice simultaneously on two twin Voyagers due to a spatial scission, Naomi Wildman was the first of two children born to the Federation crew in the Delta quadrant. One of the Naomi-s died due to a fetal transport-related issue; the other appeared doomed when her ship was set to self-destruct. Thankfully, a second Harry Kim carried the child to the mirror-version of the ship and… I’m realizing that the original crew died, and the rest of the series was duplicates? Or were just Harry and Naomi…?

Lesson Learned: … so does this happen with the transporters, too? Like in “The Prestige?” I learned nothing about babies here.

Nagilum
Nagilum is a giant floating evil space baby. Don’t be thinking you can argue that in the comments, either. Dude creeps me out.

Lesson Learned: EVIL ALIEN SPACE BABY IS EVIL

Xyrillian Baby
Commander “Trip” Tucker, from the ol’ NX-01 tries to help somebody out, and she gets him pregnant. As a guy, the thought of being pregnant (as a guy!) is almost more terrifying than Nagilum. Plus, I think there were wrist nipples? It’s been awhile.

Lesson Learned: Not worth the risk; our son is officially an only child now.

… y’know, maybe this wasn’t the best way to learn about kids. Do you think they have any books I could read, somewhere?

“Federation Follies” is a weekly humor column by Willie Laundrie II, taking a look at the lighter side of Star Trek.

Federation Follies: Gaming In a Temporal Loop

SEGA Game Gear's Star Trek: TNG

Earlier this week, I found myself in a bit of a dilemma. The video gaming bug was bitin’ hard, but what to play? I was burned out with online games; Rock Band would wake my slumbering bride; and I’m too much of a dinosaur to have games on my phone. Could Star Trek rescue me from this predicament? Of course it could! Hence I rushed to the closet, pushed aside my Super Powers action figures and Darth Vader Voice Changer helmet, and revealed my salvation: my SEGA Game gear, circa 1992. It was time for a little Star Trek: The Next Generation — The Advanced Holodeck Tutorial.

Developed by Absolute Entertainment, Inc. and released to eager Trek gamers in 1994, The Advanced Holodeck Tutorial puts players on the bridge of a holographic recreation of Picard’s U.S.S. Enterprise for their final exam at Starfleet Academy… provided the “cadet” has six AA batteries to power SEGA’s monolithic handheld. Digging for Duracells, I was reminded why I hadn’t played this game since the Clinton administration. Not wanting to empty out all my Wii remotes, I opted to connect the brick to my car battery and try that instead (online sources promised at least three hours of playtime this way; more than enough). With my Optima’s engine humming and the Game Gear chugging along nicely, I was welcomed to Starfleet Academy.

SEGA Star Trek TNG

It was like I was there! There was no time to banter with Boothby, though; Captain Picard had a mission (and you had best believe I chose to accept it). Apparently, Talarians were attacking a freighter near Crystalia and their warp core was going to blow! It was up to me and the other five people on this holographic spaceship to save their bacon. I commanded Mr. Data to set course for Crystalia, MAXIMUM WARP, and we were on our way.

Upon arrival, I found empty space and stars. That was about it. It took me a few minutes to remember how to bring up the sensors so that I could see… more stars. Hmmmm. Change Magnification? That sounded good… then I was being shot at. By somebody. Somewhere. True to the television series, my bridge officers were happy to talk about that, but weren’t about to do anything about it until I gave the go-ahead. That’s good training! I asked Worf to raise shields and arm the weapons systems. The ship then floated aimlessly for a bit as I tried to remember how to steer. Things were not going well.

SEGA Game Gear's Star Trek: The Next Generation

As any seasoned video gamer will tell you, when in doubt: button mash! After slapping around my twenty-year-old handheld gaming device for four minutes, I managed to turn the ship and find my attacker (or the freighter? I wasn’t too sure). Remembering my tactical training from the academy (and Star Trek: Online) I was ready to drain my target’s shields with my phasers before delivering the killing blows via photon torpedoes. Apparently the Talarian technology of 1994 could only handle two PEW-PEW’s before my victory was assured, however. High on my own success, I turned my attention to the wounded freighter and her endangered crew. “Chief O’Brien,” I cried, “lock on and transport survivors!” At which point Miles politely informed me that we needed to be closer to the freighter.

Button mashing and profanity ensued.

After finally inching the Enterprise up to the freighter, I dropped shields (thank you, Mr. Worf, for reminding me) and began to transport. Just like in real-life, I had to move a tiny box across a glowing TRON grid to find digitized representations of terrified survivors running wildly away from my transporter lock, their tiny arms thrashing and flailing wildly. Or maybe that’s just how the Game Gear animates people walking. Either way, Chief O’Brien and I beamed them up just in time. My first mission was complete, Captain Picard congratulated me, and I was reminded that I could continue my progress in the future by proving to the Game Gear I remembered the name of Data’s cat.

SEGA Starfleet Academy

As goofy as all that sounds, I adore this game. I remember playing it endlessly when I was younger, and it’s the biggest reason I have my Game Gear accessible (behind the figures and the helmet) today. Ship-to-ship combat may be a bit weak, but the transporter operation and re-routing of power in engineering are done extremely well; the former is actually incredibly similar to the way transporters are portrayed in the recent Star Trek reboot. The graphics are good for a game this age, and the sound effects are fun (if not entirely accurate). It’s no “A Final Unity,” but then: what is?

Until Star Trek: Online goes free-to-play, I know what I’ll be playing to scratch my Trek Gaming itch. I’ll just have to keep a close eye on my car battery.

 
“Federation Follies” is a weekly humor column by Willie Laundrie II, taking a look at the lighter side of Star Trek.

Federation Follies: The Library of the Future

Star Trek Books

Ever since my parents gave me my first Batmobile, I’ve been hooked on collecting treasures based on my favorite fictional characters and universes. Star Trek ranks pretty highly on that list, and I’ve amassed quite an assortment of treasures from the twenty-third and twenty-fourth centuries.

While the action figures and miniature starships are certainly favorites, there’s a special place in my heart for the items that really seem as if they could exist in that far-flung future.

Aside from the obvious phasers and communicators, my favorite future artifacts are books. The publishing method might differ (you’d expect PADDs or computer memory in the 2300′s), but the text would be the same.

With that small concession in mind, I present the following list of Trek Tomes that you could easily see any Federation citizen enjoying:

The Ferengi Rules-of Acquisition

The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

I’ll start with one of the few books on this list that I don’t actually have. Although this pocket-sized paperback doesn’t list all 285 rules (since they haven’t all been officially stated), it’s still a fun companion and an interesting read to flip through.

Each page has a single rule and any text beyond that is scarce. Most of us “hoo-mahns” probably couldn’t handle all that Ferengi wisdom in one place, but if you’re still looking for a comprehensive study of an alien culture, there’s always…

The Klingon Dictionary and Klingon for the Galactic Traveler

With these two textbooks, you don’t have to be a native of Qo’noS to speak the language of the galaxy’s most legendary warriors. As a Trek fan you probably know that yes, Klingon is a legitimate language that many people do actually speak; these books can make you one of those enlightened linguists. They also include some fascinating history and cultural information, making them an enjoyable read even for those scholars who have no intention of attempting a Klingon conversation at their next convention. That being said, they do make it easier to read…

The Klingon Hamlet

After all, you haven’t experienced it unless you’ve experienced it in the original Klingon.

Voyager: Captain Proton

Captain Proton: Defender of Earth

Another title that I have yet to add to my personal collection, this pastiche of classic sci-fi stories presents the “real” stories that Tom Paris based his classic holodeck programs on. The compilation contains a novel-length story as well as short stories and a letter column from the early twentieth-century science fiction magazine the stories “originally” appeared in. We’re still waiting for Hotel Royale and Dixon Hill, though. For those looking for a little non-fiction, we have some heavier reading with…

Starfleet Technical Manual

Technical Manuals

There are a number great books that fit this category, but each feels like something Montgomery Scott or Geordi LaForge would want at their fingertips; the former even assisted in the writing of one of them. For those interested in engineering and the study of starship design, we have: Mr. Scott’s Guide to The Enterprise; Star Trek: The Next Generation Technical Manual; Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Technical Manual; and the U.S.S. Enterprise Haynes Manual. All are fascinating reads and are chock-full of illustrations, diagrams, schematics, and explanations of everything from warp cores to bridge seating.

Somehow more comprehensive AND more focused is Franz Joseph’s Star Fleet Technical Manual. This classic read zeroes in on the original series and lays out the inner workings of that time period in great detail. It includes logos and insignia, hand phaser cross-sections, uniform sewing patterns, and the layout for Fleet Headquarters.

This is only a sampling of the many Trek books that fit the criteria of Actual Future Literature. There are many more to find and enjoy (I’m personally curious to read the Starfleet Survival Guide).

I hope some of you will discuss your favorites in the comments below; I’m always looking for new books to add to my own “Library of the Future.”
“Federation Follies” is a weekly humor column by Willie Laundrie II, taking a look at the lighter side of Star Trek.

New Star Trek Ongoing Comic Book Available Today

star-trek-comic

Today, IDW launches their latest ongoing Star Trek comic book series with Star Trek #1.

This new series will present classic tales from the Original Series as filtered through J.J. Abrams’ version of Star Trek, last seen in the 2009 film.

First up is a re-envisioning of the original series’ second pilot “Where No Man Has Gone Before.” Featuring the likenesses of Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Simon Pegg, Zoe Saldana and others, this comic is meant as a companion piece to the new films (and will hopefully help eager fans survive the wait until the next big screen release).

Star Trek #1 will be available for sale at your local comic shop or online from various retailers as of today, Wednesday, September 21.

The first issue is written by Mike Johnson with interior art by Stephen Molnar. The issue will ship with various covers by artists Tim Bradstreet and David Messina.

Star Trek #1

Description from IDW:

Mike Johnson (w) o Stephen Molnar (a) o Tim Bradstreet, David Messina (c)
The adventures of the Starship Enterprise continue in this new ongoing series that picks up where the blockbuster 2009 film left off! Featuring the new cast of the film, these missions re-imagine the stories from the original series in the alternate timeline created by the film, along with new threats and characters never seen before! With creative collaboration from STAR TREK writer/producer Roberto Orci, this new series begins the countdown to the much-anticipated movie sequel premiering in 2012. Join Kirk, Spock and the crew as they boldly go into a new future! Up first, a drastic new envisioning of ‘Where No Man Has Gone Before.’

Format: 32pg., COMIC
Price: $3.99

Federation Follies: Star Trek Nights

Federation Follies: Relief Pitching

Greetings readers, and welcome back to the latest (and long-delayed) installment of “Federation Follies.” For those of you wondering where the column has been, I’ll tell you what I told my TrekNews editors: “prison, awaiting bail.” For those of you who haven’t been wondering: … well, thanks for nothing.”

Regardless, during my time away, I’ve seen chatter on this fine website (and others) about a possible pitch for Star Trek’s triumphant return to television. Now, there are some out there who don’t think this is likely to happen for various reasons, and I tend to agree; Paramount doesn’t seem too into Trek on the silver screen right now. Unlike the rest of the internet, though, I have no intention of taking this sitting down; I plan to STAND UP (while writing this!) AND GET THEIR ATTENTION. What follows is my slam-dunk pitch for a new Star Trek series that will get those studio suits to take notice. I present to you:

Pitch for Star Trek: Nights

Captain Val Edwards, the third-youngest Starfleet officer to ever be named captain of a starship, has just taken command of the U.S.S. Nocturne. When a strange string of murders below decks begins to catch the attention of the crew, Edwards fears that his darkest secret may come to light: he’s actually a (salt) vampire! Are his recent blackouts a sign that after years of dedication, he’s losing control and killing his own crew? Or is some darker force at work?

Meanwhile, Chief Medical Officer Ellen Laurie has her own problems in Sickbay: love is in the air! With her head nurses both head-over-heels for the same Bolian intern and tempers flaring, will she be able to hold things together? Or is there a nasty polywater breakout right under her nose? Also, why is popular music from the early twenty-first century always playing over the intercom?

Finally, Chief Engineer Leland Miranda has to turn Main Engineering into a daycare for the Nocturne’s children when a Klingon werewolf turns the ship’s school into it’s new den! There will be laughs aplenty and lessons learned as Starfleet’s youngest new “cadets” show their elders how it’s done! Plus, Chief Miranda’s daughter is A WIZARD.

I’m sure you’ll agree with me that this exciting, compelling, completely fresh, 100% new, not-at-all-derivative-of-other-media take on our beloved franchise is just the shot in the arm television, if not society as a whole, needs right now. So let’s start writing those letters and make it so, people.

“Federation Follies” is a weekly humor column by Willie Laundrie II, taking a look at the lighter side of Star Trek.

Review: William Shatner’s “The Captains”

the-captains-review

We have a fascination with those who lead. From heads of state and royal families to sports coaches and film directors. We love to follow the lives and careers of those who shape history and guide others to greatness. As a reader of this website, chances are some of your favorite leaders are the captains of great starships — Names like Kirk, Picard, Sisko, Janeway, and Archer.

Now, thanks to William Shatner’s documentary, The Captains, we can learn a bit more about the real-life people who brought these great commanding officers to the screen. This entertaining offering from EPIX debuted in July and is currently available on the EPIX channel and through their EpixHD.com.


The Kirks: William Shatner & Chris Pine

My fiancée and I signed up for the free two-week trial EPIX currently offers to check out Mr. Shatner’s latest work, and we were still talking about it long after the final credits.

The Captains is an interesting, engaging glimpse into the personalities of these actors, but don’t go in expecting a documentary-style look at Star Trek‘s leading men and woman: Shatner has recorded an hour and a half of conversations and reflections and released it for Trek and film buffs to listen in on. This is not a history of the franchise, but a look at how it (and so much more) has affected each of these talented artists. The film briefly introduces each, as Bill flies out to meet them; then it shifts from one to the other and back again as Shatner asks questions about their careers, their relationships, and what they’ve all taken away from the captain’s chair.


Sir Patrick Stewart & William Shatner

While William Shatner is certainly the center of the film, the true stars of the piece are Patrick Stewart (Picard), Kate Mulgrew (Janeway), and Scott Bakula (Archer). Stewart displays great emotion and insight, and plays off Shatner well. Mulgrew is a class-act, tough and no-nonsense; she opens up and discusses some clearly painful memories, but also takes Bill to task when he seems unwilling to reciprocate. In contrast, Scott Bakula is relaxed and easy-going. He talks casually about his family life and his career; he sings; and he laughs at life’s misfortunes. All three are a joy to watch. The remaining interviewees do not fare as well. Chris Pine gets short shrift here, with very little screen time. The most recent big-screen captain struck me as earnest and honest, but intimidated. He appears uneasy around his predecessor, and Shatner does little onscreen to change that. Bill seems to have far less to ask the younger actor. They do arm-wrestle, though, so there is that. As for Avery Brooks… here, the commanding presence that kept DS9 from falling apart is nowhere to be seen. Brooks comes across as an eccentric intellectual who would rather play his piano than discuss acting and Star Trek with Captain Kirk. My fiancée suggested that perhaps he’d spent a bit too much time in the celestial temple, “hangin’ with the prophets.”

William Shatner & Avery Brooks
William Shatner & Avery Brooks

Guest appearances by other Trek actors and footage from last year’s Las Vegas Star Trek Convention add even more to the conversations between captains. I highly recommend it to fans of the franchise, but (as the Borg might say) it falls short of perfection. The pace is quite slow and some strange editing can be distracting at times. It’s clear throughout that as William Shatner interviews his fellow captains, he’s also focused on interviewing himself. Although I get the impression that William Shatner was hoping it would be a bit more, The Captains is a fun, light look at these talented thespians and their thoughts on life, love, and Trek. Should it become available to own, I’d happily add it to my Star Trek video library. Be sure to check it out yourself on EpixHD.com (which is still running a free two-week trial, for a limited time!) and post your thoughts in the comments below.

Engage!

Get your free two-week trial of EPIX today at EpixHD.com.